tellmenottobuy.com

I will talk you out of
almost anything.

You're about to spend money on something you don't need. I know it. You kind of know it. Let me be the brutally honest friend who says it out loud — before you hit checkout.

✓ Response within 24 hours

HOW IT WORKS

01

Tell me what you're eyeing

Paste the link, describe the vibe, tell me how long you've been thinking about it. The more embarrassing, the better.

02

I'll make the case

I'll go through every single reason you don't need this thing. Lovingly. Thoroughly. Without mercy.

03

You (probably) save money

You either close the tab and thank me later, or you buy it anyway with full clarity. Either way, you're welcome.

PICK YOUR INTERVENTION

The Text

$9

A no-nonsense written breakdown of why you should put the credit card down. Delivered to your inbox within 24 hours.

The Video ⭐ most popular

$40

I'll film a personal video — me, your purchase, and the unfiltered truth. Send it to yourself or to whoever needs to hear it.

The Intervention

$60

Video + written breakdown. For when you really, truly cannot be trusted alone with an open browser tab.

Buying this for someone else? Absolutely. Gift an intervention to a friend who cannot stop buying things on TikTok Shop. You know who they are.

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING

"I was three seconds from buying a $400 pasta maker. She called it a 'beige paperweight for people who are bad at saying no to themselves.' Reader, I did not buy the pasta maker."

— Sarah M., saved $400

"I bought it for my husband as a joke. He watched the video three times and still bought the leaf blower. But honestly he seemed happier about it."

— Dana K., gift order

"I sent it to myself. I watched it. I waited 24 hours. I bought the boots anyway. 10/10 would do it again — somehow the video made me feel better about the whole thing."

— Anonymous, obviously

GOOD QUESTIONS

  • What if I buy it anyway?

    That's genuinely fine. The goal isn't to stop you — it's to make sure you buy it on purpose, not in a 2am spiral. Some things are worth buying. Most things on this list are not.

  • Will you be mean about the thing I want to buy?

    Never about the product, always about your relationship to it. You're not dumb. You're just a person with a browser and a credit card, same as everyone.

  • What won't you talk me out of?

    Therapy. Good shoes. Books. Experiences. The occasional treat that genuinely brings you joy. Some purchases deserve a defense, and I'll say so.

  • Can I send this to someone else?

    Strongly encouraged. Just include their email and a note about what they're about to do. I'll handle the rest.

You've already thought about it long enough.

Let's figure out if this is actually a good idea.

Start here. Tell me what you're about to do. Then pick your intervention below and pay. I'll be in touch within 24 hours.

Got all that? Good. Now pick your poison.

Choose the option below that fits and complete your payment. That's it. I'll match your form to your order and get to work.

PICK YOUR INTERVENTION

Payment is processed securely through Stripe. Once you pay you'll receive a confirmation email. Your intervention will be delivered within 24 hours.

Okay. I got you.

Your order is confirmed and I am already thinking about this.

Within 24 hours I will be in your inbox with the most thorough, lovingly brutal breakdown of why you do not need this thing. Or, depending on what you ordered, a video of me looking directly into a camera and saying it to your face.

In the meantime — and I cannot stress this enough — do not buy it.

Close the tab. Put the phone down. Go drink some water out of whatever bottle you already own.

If you ordered for someone else, they're going to receive something they didn't ask for and absolutely needed. Well done.

If you have questions, second thoughts, or want to add context about what you're about to do, reply to your confirmation email. I'll read it.